LunarSpoon's avatar

LunarSpoon

205 Watchers308 Deviations
47.6K
Pageviews

Coming Out 2020

4 min read

Original post from Twitter

https://twitter.com/LunarSpoon/status/1267945512721760257


🏳️‍🌈 Don't mind me, just a coming out thread:

I was hesitant to explain this at the risk of changing how some might view me, but figured this time to be the best opportunity to make a public diary entry as a “coming out” statement. Please try to understand that I hate when people overuse gender identity or sexual orientation as a replacement for personality or true character, which is why I’ll only explain this in-depth once to accurately describe my feelings. I am absolutely speaking only for myself because everyone is different.


Cross-dressing is something I’ve done my entire life, ever since I’ve had the freedom to choose my wardrobe. As a kid I’d been made fun of, I’ve been called a lesbian in a hostile way, but ultimately it never bothered me that much. Wearing or doing anything super feminine always made me uncomfortable and I never understood why. In the past I’ve been called, “sir” multiple times in my life without even trying. I also used to hate my deep female voice but I’m starting to appreciate it more because of the following.

Recently I wondered what it would feel like to embrace my masculinity and disregard all expectations of feminine appearance I never managed to achieve. So, I went off the rails to compose a male profile and bought specific men’s clothes I liked and body-shaping items to fit the profile. I wanted to not just look like a guy, but to feel like one (again, all out of curiosity). After some experimentation, it turns out that I love feeling and looking like a cute dude more than I thought I would and it freaked me out at first. Something about it just clicked with me.


While the newfound comfort was unsettling me, I was meditating on what it meant. At first I humorously wondered if I secretly wanted to be a drag king. I’m comfortable with being biologically female for the most part, however some days I just wake up and truly think, “I feel like a boy today” and it turns out others feel the same way to varying degrees. Changing your outward appearance to reflect your inward natural feelings can be powerful and I want that to be a possible and simple thing to accomplish.


The closest name for this is “bigender” which generally means identifying as both female and male. Bigenderism has a wide amount of variations and each person will likely experience it differently. I’m also very okay with “genderfluid” because I’ve felt more androgynous than feminine most of my life. Some days I don’t feel pretty enough to be a girl, or handsome enough to be a guy, so I’ll just fall somewhere in the middle and be fine with it. However, on the days I do feel male, I achieve the look with a comfortable wardrobe, chest binder, packer, and a little makeup to make my face look slightly more masculine.


I’m still thinking about some of this but it’s going positively so far. I’m a little anxious about others telling me I’m incorrect without any second thoughts, but my main issue is that I often feel too short or look too naturally feminine to pass as male at all. I can’t really change my ridiculously tiny height or jawline, but I do my best anyway and sometimes I surprise myself. I’m super looking forward to successfully pulling it off in public at some point.

This could just be a delusional phase for all I know. For the moment, it feels like it’s not, but if it is, so what? People are constantly changing and I believe there’s no shame in that. I’m a genderfluid bisexual, everybody love me.


If anyone wants to follow specifically my guy side, go to my other profile. My name is Elliott Bell and I mostly post optimistic nonsense, weird faces, and creepy lil drawings I don’t post on my main account. I like to try and keep a certain vibe over there. Thanks for reading, have pride, and God bless you!


#pridemonth #pride2020 #bigender #genderfluid #bisexual #queer #lgbt

Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In
I am writing this as of the day pages 1-4 are posted~ :3c
:bulletgreen: Comic pages will be posted on deviantART only! I use a lot of blogging sites but dA is the best way for me to post my story in its full view and quality.
:bulletgreen: Based on a poll I posted a looooong time ago (which I also agree with), 2 to 4 pages will be posted at a time to keep the panel and page flow going.
:bulletgreen: Actual info on the comic itself including its story and making will be mentioned as little as possible. I hate having an impression or influence on a reader's experience, so the artist's comments section will be desolate other than the convenient "PREVIOUS/NEXT" links to the other pages in them.
:bulletgreen: Just to jot this down because it might be obvious, the first four pages are drawn on 11x14 bristol board, but every page afterward will be 11x17. This adjustment is based solely on the experience I've had with these first pages; drawing larger will be an improvement and since I bought a bigger, better scanner I may as well use the room.
Here's some info on the differences if yer curious: artwiki.wikidot.com/comic-book…

:bulletgreen: That's pretty much all I have to say! I continue to work hard on this story and no matter what you think of it so far, it will only get better from here! Thanks and enjoy!
 
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In
Note: I may continue to add more sections to this as I think them up.

Basic character development tips! I am not a "professional," but I am a pro at going brain-dead when I see the same cookie-cutter character cliches and stereotypes show up too often. Considering that all stories are character-driven, it's a pretty important element to nail down. These are mostly the things off the top of my head when someone asks me about writing.

If you consider it the way I do, we all may just be complex characters written by God, the author of existence. :la: No living thing should be described in just one or two adjectives. There are a few key rules I keep in mind when developing characters and I will make a distinct list at the end of this journal if you want to skip all my paragraphs.

A couple of my favorite fictional people:
One of my favorite characters of all time in both film and writing is Willy Wonka. His complexity and disposition has served as an inspiration for countless other characters in all kinds of media. Wonka is the original, whimsical, child-at-heart adult character and there are so many facets to him that could be studied, but to me, he is an ideal balance of traits. When I observe his character, I see multiple dualities: innovative vs. imaginative, responsibility vs. whimsy, sophisticated vs. casual, and (particularly) familiarity vs. mystery. Every once in a while, I'll still come back to study the characters that made this story so immortal.

Personally, one of my other big character-writing influences was surprisingly The Grinch from Dr. Seuss. After all these years, many of his characters may feel one-dimensional or childish, but many of them still have a refreshing presence to tell his stories. And if you take a step back, a lot of those childish characters can get pretty thought-provoking... The Grinch may not necessarily be one of those characters, but he was a prime example to me of how anyone can change. He was entertaining above all else: grouchy, clever, scheming, and delightfully unpleasant. We all loved The Grinch before and after he learned his big lesson and in my opinion, that's a decent sign of a well-written character.

Writing women (and racial diversity):
Here's a simple tip: If you are incapable of writing a gender- and racially-diverse cast, then your writing fails.

Writing women characters is the easiest fucking thing in the world and I don't know why anyone would be incapable of doing it. I'm not joking. Want the secret? Here it is: Being a CHARACTER comes before being a WOMAN. That also applies to writing racial diversity (and any other physical trait), assuming it's not present to contribute to your plot.

To this day, it astounds me that so many filmmakers still don't know how to write women characters. Women are not as close-minded, impatient, or one-dimentionally effeminate as a lot of them are written to be and it's annoying.
Ex. mainstream slice-of-life film where the main character is a blandly-written young guy and the girl is a sidekick of some kind:
"Oh no, the man told his girl a secret or something impossible that's happening to him and she instantly thinks he's lying/doesn't believe him and gets pissed for no reason, so then they break up and she only goes back to him when she discovers the proof of his secret somehow."

I personally find it easier to write female characters. Something about their femininity feels more internally complex to me, like they have the potential to be more emotionally/mentally flexible or interesting (like every Ghibli heroine ever)... But seriously, I'm not a man in real life; I theorize that in my mind, women are already on an equal-status plane to men just because I am one. That's simply my default. We're all human and in reality, we don't think much different from one another.

The main character I've written for my first graphic novel is a 23-year-old female and in nearly every way, she would not change if she were the opposite sex. The same goes for the supporting character, an 8-year-old boy who is black. If you were to alter their sexes or races in any combination on either of them, their core characters would not change in the slightest. Why did I decide to make them the way they are? Because I decided to. Because women and black people exist. Because from a design perspective, it makes my story's cast visually interesting. The only thing that would change their characters dramatically is age but that's a big change beyond sex or race.
Numbers/Fish Expression Page by LunarSpoon

Adults vs. children
This one is a bit more difficult because age absolutely has an effect on the mind, personality, and decisions we make. Look at it this way: age = time of existence = amount of things experienced = decisions made = personality. No one will argue that there is a definite difference between children and adults. As for writing both, I don't have much advice other than choose combinations of ages for characters that work best with your story. Find out why some of your favorite kid characters work so well. How old are they? Try to remember how the ridiculous things you once believed as a kid seemed so plausible back then. Personally, some of my best-written pieces of dialogue and development are child-adult duos as well. I wrote about it a little a couple years ago: Storywriting: Characters, Kissing, and Cuddling

Writing LGBT:
It's not really a physical trait or affects your character (at least it shouldn't). Why include sexual orientation if it doesn't enhance or contribute to your story? In the event that you do write gay characters, please treat them like the women above: as CHARACTERS, not as a joke or a plea for approval. I'm bi myself; we're not perverted aliens or obsessed with sex every waking moment.

ENIGMA CHARACTERS (and emotional manipulation):
There is a specific character type that comes up every so often that I do not like, and I call it the "enigma character." This character includes a person (usually a child) who speaks in vague sentences or riddles, can't easily connect or talk to others, and has had some kind of traumatic and/or mysterious past that shaped them into an "enigma."
I never realized how much I hated these kinds of characters until I watched the character River from Firefly. In comparison to the rest of the rich universe of Firefly, River does absolutely nothing. She sits alone, acts mysterious and traumatized, and on top of that, is a huge potential threat and liability to all the other characters. She does have some redemption in a couple scenes but it's not enough character development for me to like her personally. I was afraid Elle from Stranger Things was going to go through the same thing (which she does...) but what made her better was the way she made strong connections with the rest of the cast and the difficult decisions she made on her own on their behalf.

Why do I dislike enigma characters? Because they're not characters, but plot devices. For the most part, they exist to explain what's going on. They make you wonder what will happen but don't make you care about the character themselves. They don't have much personality, and giving them a sad, tortured past is likely to make them come off as emotionally manipulative. Emotional manipulation is what happens when you try to make your audience "feel sorry" for a character without any prior character development.

Who sends you a more powerful message and is more memorable? A character who has been through unexplained events, is traumatized, and sits in self-loathing/does nothing while the bad just happens? Or a character who has been through uncontrollable events, is discouraged, but decides to keep pressing on with no guarantee of success?
How much stronger would your emotional investment be if the latter character failed even after they tried their hardest?

Some of the characters I love the most and those that stick in my mind are those who do things, try, make a sacrifice, and change when times are at its toughest and the story calls for it...

LunarSpoon's List of Character Writing:
1. A good character does not have to be "relatable" or "likeable," they just have to be interesting.
2. Character develops from what a person does, not what they are or even what happens to them.
3. The main character must go through some kind of change and end up in a different place from where they started from.
4. Using cliches isn't always a bad thing, just be sure to do something original with them.
5. Every person is a balance of strengths and flaws, and they are usually connected somehow.

Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In

These specific prices and some details are obsolete as of 10/31/2020 although much of its content still applies. Please see more recently posted content for commission updates.

Last updated: 9/25/2019
INCLUDES 2-D ART, SCROLL DOWN FOR CRAFTS AND FURSUITS

Star! 2-D ARTWORK Star!
Welcome! If you're interested in purchasing a custom-drawn work of art made of black and white magic, then hopefully you've come to the right advertisement! In this journal you will find all the information, prices, and procedures you will need in order to purchase art from me (and partly in general!).

About my work:
:bulletred: I started out drawing everything and anything interesting to me. Pencils, clouds, cats, windows, hands, you name it. Throughout grade school I drew animals and couldn't draw any part of a person to save my life until late high school where I started drawing more realistic portraits to get a grip on human anatomy. Since then, I've been practicing character design for both animals and humans, and at this point I'm currently working on improving all my man-made structures and cityscape design. My personal art style is based on my experiences and influences, including western comic strips, manga, classic animation, and children's book illustrators.

What I use to create:
:bulletblue: I am strictly a traditional artist. When it comes to digital art (which I have nothing against) I personally do not have the resources to begin learning, but more so, I love the physicality of traditional art way too much. The love for that feeling of specific tools is why my primary medium is India ink and dip "nib" pens. I tend to draw and shade in a "comic book style" which is a look that, I believe, has a sophistication that can stretch across any subject matter. The main shading techniques I use are solid black, hatching, cross-hatching, and stippling.
  • If you'd like art from me done in another medium other than ink, let me know in a message and I'll see if we can find an alternative.
  • Screen tones are also a great shading option, but my materials are limited.
  • I do not do color as often. I can do it, but it costs a lot more in terms of resources and time, plus I'm not the best at it to be completely honest (see my gallery or the end of this article for examples). When I do color, I prefer colored pencil or Copic markers. All that being said, if you're absolutely desperate for color, send me a message and maybe we can work out a price. If the art you want colored is more on the simple side, I'm more likely to go for it. See my line art below for alternative coloring solutions.
Drawing restrictions:
:bulletorange: I can draw just about anything and everything. There are little restrictions when it comes to my work (or skill level) and it never hurts to ask. Everyone has their one or two subjects that cross into the "uncomfortable zone" when it comes to creating and I'm no exception. I am very likely to refuse extreme realistic gore (however I am a fan of furry candy gore), obvious & unusual fetish art, straight-up porn, and distasteful nudity. Some of my favorite works of art are in the nude (such as Michelangelo's "David"), and I am willing to draw nude if it's in the correct presentation. To me, nudity looks best when the subject is able to convey a sense of beauty through their natural form. On a side note, I do love drawing blood but again, extreme details work best when they're put into a fitting context. I am flexible!

What you will receive (guarantee):
:bulletgreen: Everything I draw will be a product of my own personal interpretation and style unless otherwise stated. As a discerning client, you have my guarantee that I will do my best to accurately interpret the artwork you are seeking. You will receive a personalized art piece created to the best of my ability. With my promised effort and this written guarantee, I must warn you now: all sales are final. If you are somehow unsatisfied with my finished artwork, I will offer an apology and potential advice for your future commission ventures, but no refunds.

Hopefully it won't have to come to that, which brings me to the first of my four steps in starting a commission: 

Step 1: Identify what kind of art you need
:bulletyellow: To be blunt, I may not be the artist for you. The art world is vast. If you have something very specific in mind, try browsing the web some more. Find that special artist who can portray the precise elements you want to find in an art piece. Heck, maybe it's not a drawing you want; maybe you really want a poem, or a sculpture, or a song, or a plush toy--you never know! If you don't have something super specific in mind (or you've already chosen my art from the get-go), there are three levels of detail I can create with prices and examples. These levels act as guidelines so I can get a good idea of how much detail you want as well as what price range you prefer.
  • Detail will vary from drawing to drawing based on the subject, light source, and setting (if any).
  • All prices are mostly based on the estimated amount of time it takes to complete, but also the amount of material used.
1) LINE ART: $15 USD
:bulletpurple: Solid, black, crisp lines. I recommend this if all you want to see is an idea or design in my style without anything fancy. Any small details that are inherently solid black (pupils, animal noses, eyebrows, etc.) will also be filled in unless otherwise stated. With proper permission and credit, I'll also allow my line art to be colored by another artist. Simpler/smaller drawings are subject to lower prices!
1. Lineart by LunarSpoon Hollyhock Pen Draw by LunarSpoon Slappy Pen Draw by LunarSpoon

2) BASIC SHADING: $20 USD
:bulletpurple: Basic shading usually involves solid black shadows as well as just the hatching method of shading to establish darker shades. Things that are naturally pure black (like that raven) are more likely to have extra shading to emphasize its darker value. Basic shading is a great option if you want a nice, smooth drawing in a comic book style without going crazy with too many details.
2. Basic Shading by LunarSpoon That's Cold by LunarSpoon Trixie Pen Draw by LunarSpoon Peridot Clods by LunarSpoon

3) FULL SHADING: Starting at $25 USD
:bulletpurple: Don't let "starting at" scare you; that applies to more complex or larger subjects which may vary by only a dollar or two. Full shading is the work I'm most proud of and involves much more time. Cross-hatching and stippling are added to get a beautifully detailed range of darker shadows and lighter highlights. I highly recommend full shading if you want to unlock the full potential of my inking skill on your request.
3. Full Shading by LunarSpoon Mouse Lady by LunarSpoon Reindeer Magus by LunarSpoon Numbers and Fish Graffiti by LunarSpoon Vaporeon Pen Draw by LunarSpoon

(Just pretend I remembered Fluttershy's wings in the previous two drawings. xP)

EXTRA) BASIC CHARACTER REFERENCE SHEETS: $20 - $30
:bulletpurple: Reference sheets include 3-5 line art drawings (with one colored example if desired) on a single page to show off the detail of one character. For a little extra, I can also help you with designing a character if you're not completely sure how you want your vision to turn out. Creating characters is what I love best!

EXTRA) CON BADGES: $20 - $30
:bulletpurple: Convention badges, Furry in particular, are the next best thing to having a fursuit in order to show off your characters. I know I've previously stated that I'm not the best at color, but for badges, I highly recommend it. My con badges are a maximum 6" x 6" and this "package" includes your character fully inked or colored (hence the pending price) on thick paper, cleanly cut out, laminated and hole-punched with an attached key ring, and physically mailed to you (see BONUS below). If all you want is a drawing of your character to be colored by another artist and turned into a con badge by another artist, check out my line art option.
Aurora Badge by LunarSpoon Sibyl Badge by LunarSpoon Tootsie Roo Badge by LunarSpoon Noah Badge by LunarSpoon



BONUS) Receiving the ORIGINAL
:bulletpurple: One of the perks of traditional art is that there will always be a one and only original piece. What do I do with my originals? As a matter of fact, I scan them onto my computer and then throw them in my file cabinet, never to be seen again. If you are the slightest bit interested in keeping the original for yourself, I would be more than happy to wrap it up and mail it to you in a reinforced envelope for an extra $10 or less. Let me know; I guarantee it will be less than that. If I happen to know you in person and can give it to you that way, then you can have it no issues there!

Step 2: Contact Me and details!
:bulletpink: I am on deviantART daily. Inquiries can be made through notes on my deviantART home page. If you are here visiting and do not have a deviantART account, please send a message through any of my other social media sites: On Facebook! | On Twitter! | On Telegram! | On Twitch! When you send me a note, describe what you want with as many details as you want; I may ask follow-up questions. Tell me if you want the drawing to have a particular vibe (or expression for a character)... Neutral? Peaceful? Exciting? Creepy? Simple? Feel free to send me reference pictures if you have a particular character or subject you want drawn. Any requests for free art will be ignored. If we agree on a commission, I will confirm all the details in the note with you and then give you a final price and estimated completion time. If there are any time changes, I will let you know.

Step 3: Payment and pricing
:bulletwhite: All payments will be made through Paypal or Venmo and must be received in full before I begin drawing. I will send you the link to my Paypal page (or other) in our note. Once I give you a final price for a drawing, it will be final and will not change after your payment. My above prices are firm but not set in stone. They may vary depending on the commission. For example, if you wanted a full-shaded drawing of something tiny and simple, I would probably do it for much cheaper than the line art price.

Step 4: Completion
:bulletblack: When the art is finished, it will be submitted as a regular deviation and put into a "Commissions" folder in my gallery. Your username and any references used will be included in the artist's comments section and I will also notify you through our note that it's completed. Additionally, the art will not be available as a full download on dA, but I will personally give you the full, original file through a message or email if you're willing to provide me with your email address.

That's just about it! Not too complicated? :la: If you have any questions about my commissions themselves, leave it in the comments here and good luck with your purchases. Thank you for your interest!

Star! FURSUITS AND CRAFTS Star!
:bulletred: Owo Looking for a fursuit? Allow me to keep this section brief then: I am currently a novice maker looking to dive deeper into the biz! At the moment I can make heads, tails, and handpaws (or wings, hooves or claws). I am still learning how to make bodysuits and feetpaws. Just like my traditional art, prices may vary! I honestly love keeping in touch with my commissioners throughout the process to make sure everything turns out right!
  • All prices are based on my experience as an amateur maker and estimated amount of time it will take to complete as well as the amount of material used (and fur is expensive!)
  • Factors that affect price: general size of the parts (i.e. smaller v bigger tails), intricacy (extra details such as horns or feathers), character's pattern detail or color palette, inclusion of moving jaw
  • All prices include shipping! :3c
1) FOAM BASE: $250 USD
:bulletblue: My regular foam of choice for sculpting is 1/2" high-density open-cell foam (the green stuff). They are made with a balaclava base for superb comfort and ventilation. Personally as of now, I do not believe in using pre-made patterns for character's heads; I prefer to make each head from scratch based on the character reference I am given to make sure each head is completely unique.
2) COMPLETE HEAD: $500-700 USD
:bulletblue: Not many secrets here--you get a furry head. Species and type of materials is very flexible although faux fur for the majority of the head is always preferred. I can make static eyes or effective following eyes at no extra charge! Below is pictured my very first head next to my current head.
3) TAILS: $50-100 USD
:bulletblue: FOOF tail! All tail shapes and sizes can vary. All tails have two thick elastic belt loops for flexibility and maximum wag. This one in particular is generously stuffed with a curve to it for a firm shape and extra character.

4) HANDPAWS: $80-120 USD
:bulletblue: Currently I make the simple "glove" style paws with no foam: still thick and puffy enough but easier to emote and function with. The pads are slowly machine-sewn and stuffed to make good squishy finger beans. Claws are optional for a little extra charge!

EXTRA) MOVING JAW: +$40 USD
:bulletblue: Creating a moving jaw involves putting elastic on the balaclava and essentially gluing the bottom jaw directly onto the chin. It takes some extra time to make sure the mouth responds well, but it's worth it! If you really want your character to come alive, I recommend one. Having a moving jaw is also a great way to get a lot more ventilation and air flow into your head!
BONUS) FULL PARTIAL: $600-700 USD
:bulletblue: A full partial includes a complete head (with or without moving jaw), tail, and paws. If you want all three from me, I'll give you a huge discount!

Payment for fursuits:
:bulletgreen: All payments will be made through Paypal or Venmo. Currently I do not accept payment plans, but you can choose one of two methods to pay:
  1. Pay for the order in full so I can complete it and get it mailed out ASAP OR
  2. Pay for exactly half of the order so I can complete it, and it will be shipped out after you pay the second half

Star! THANK YOU! Star! 
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In
This is a very tiny detail I'm proud of about Dr. Numbers. As a sci-fi about a mathematician, there's going to be a good share of numbers written into the dialogue and physically into its speech balloons.
As a general rule with most formal literature, the mentioning of numbers is written out as a word, not a number. For example, "One-thousand times" should never be written "1,000 times" in something like a novel.
In my graphic novel, everyone will follow this basic rule except for the main character. When they say "everything is math" to Dr. Numbers, they mean it. She will pronounce numbers in their numeric form. Why I've decided this I'm not exactly sure, but I'm hoping readers will notice it and use it to interpret something about her character. This is the most obvious example I've written so far (also "C" is their currency symbol):

[Panel: Numbers looks away and Jim pulls out a portable crystal screen to find the property deed.
Numbers: Jim... right now I can’t. I just want to go home. Let me pay you and sign the deed so I can go.
Jim: Oh, of course! I’m so sorry. This is just such an unexpected accusation, I can’t help but think about all the other patients who have gone through our hospital… Um, how much did you want to offer for the property…?

Panel: View of Numbers grabbing her large travel bag beside her as she speaks. Jim looks satisfied.
Numbers: As much as I could carry over here without drawing attention to myself. How does an even C3,500,000 sound?
Jim: Three-and-a-half million dollars? Sure, it looks like that old observatory is good for something after all.]

This rule I've brought upon my own creation will extend pretty far. Although, it will have a few exceptions and I will judge every one depending on the context and how well it fits. For things that aren't physically countable (or are metaphorical), it is less likely to work. Especially with the number, "1" when it's by itself; it's too similar to the letter "I" in comic font and I don't want to concoct unnecessary confusion. Also, mathematical symbols in speech balloons will happen if it comes to that.
Random examples of Dr. Numbers' dialogue:
Yes: "It happened for 10 months" "There were 4 of them" "8 x 9 = 72" (vs "eight times nine equals seventy-two")
No: "It's the last one" "This was second to that" "For the millionth time" "Go get half of it"
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In
Featured

Schedule/Notes on The Rise of Dr. Numbers by LunarSpoon, journal

How To Write Any Character Ever (+thought dump) by LunarSpoon, journal

Commission Guidelines (+Advice!) by LunarSpoon, journal

Comic Diary: Num83r5 by LunarSpoon, journal

Are LGBT people lonely? by LunarSpoon, journal